Hindi Movie Oneliners and Phattas

Hindi Movie Oneliners and Phattas

by Ramesh Mahadevan

Ladies, jantalmen and Joachim Martillo..ha ha..myself Ramesh, your good name? Yaaron, last few weeks, Soc.Culture.Indian full of jokes, phattas, I was laughing, laughing, laughing. S.C.I becoming friendly like one happy family with uncaljis, mosijis and auntijis. Everyone posting one one one liner. It eej bery enjoy. Yaar, I am having one liner too, only it eej two liner! (magar, you doubbal your pleyyar, ha ha) Eej about liquid oxygen.

Ajit: (to sidey) Abhey Sidey, (it eej already funny) ise liquid oxygen me daal do; liquid ise jeene nahin dega aur oxygen ise marne nahin dega.

Yaar, you were talking funny movies. You see funny movie 'Mughal-e-Azam' ? Prithvi Raj giving dhamkees and Lata Mangeshkar giving counter-dhamkees singing "Pyaar kiya to karna kyaa". It eej very funny if you had never been in love. Yaar, there was funny movie with Amitabh; Amitabh talking to mirror imazh and imazh not back talking..and yaar, 'Padosan'...Kishore Kumar sings and two donkeys come! ha ha and yaar, 'Saccha Jhoota', remember dog Moti? Biting and chasing villain. He was 'hot dog' yaar, ha ha. I don't know yaar. Why all movie dogs Moti? Remember 'Dil Daulat Duniyaa' Rajes Khanna first fishing in swimming pool (thirne ka talaab, ha ha) and then trying to take Moti dog inside temple and everyone telling 'No way Jose'..except god. Very touching. And yaar, ha ha. this movie. When I am thinking about this movie, khoob hassi aa rahi hai. This movie yaar... ha ha..Tun Tun, she appears in one scene...ha ha. It was very funny. Yaar, apna zamane me to, there were many good comedian actors like I. S. Johar, Keshto Mukherjee, Balraj Sahni..These days everyone becoming charractarractor. Only good actors Johnny Whiskey and Coca Cola. Yaar, bees saal baad, SCI full of Johnny Whiskey jokes. Yaar, I have one more joke.

Ajit: (to sidey) Abhey Sidey, ise liquid oxygen me dal do. Liquid ise jeene nahin dega aur oxygen ise marne nahin dega.

Yaar, someone talking oneliner from commercial. When I was in Bombay working and surfing (surfing my kapdas yaar, ha ha) I accidentally finding out ki Vicco Vajradanti same as Vicco turmeric Ayurvedic cream. By god, kah raha hoon. Joke eej on conjoomers. Yaar, yesterday my jigri dost Asok come to my appament. Asok telling me, "Yaar, Ramu, my head eej eating cirraccals". Myself telling "Bhaat?". Asok again telling "Mera sir chakkar kha raha hai" and myself and himself telling "Ha Ha Ha". Two minutes later Asok telling "Eat your promise" and myself replying "Drink your cigarette". Very funny. Asok masth bandha hai. Sampoorna sheetal billi, ha ha. And yaar, when myself and Asok go to D. A. V College (one next to Tiwari paan shop) we had Prof. P. C. Nigam and we calling him Param Chutiya Nigam. Ha ha ha. Yaar, Southie log bahut chillate hain ki 'translation de do', especially Jaykrishnan. But, hindi rastrabasa. Anybhay, how one can translate Param Chutiya yaar. And yaar I remember oneliner about liquid oxygen.

Ajit: (to sidey) Abhey Sidey, ise liquid oxygen me dal do. Saala Super Conductor ho jayega. Gaadi me ticket dethe dethe saala mar jayega.

Ha ha ha very funny yaar. Yaar, I am habing good plan. So many jokes from Illustrated Weekly magajine I have yaar. Why not start discussion? Or one liner from cricket commentary yaar, Faroukh Engineer and Lala Amarnath yaar, we can go on and on and on and on and on and on.

Yaar, der ho raha hai. Venus already crossing jupiter. I have class in few minutes. Bye. Now, now, I am going class. Jai Ramji ki.

Bonus: (a real phatta quoted to me by an anonymous source)

Ajit: (to sidey) Abhey sidey, ise (meaning the hero) varnish me daal do - finish acchi hogi.

(Translation: Villain - Throw this hero in varnish - the 'finish' will be good)


Copyright(R) Mahadevan Ramesh